The Walk with God

2011-02-24T00:57:00.001-08:00

Today I felt like a failure, felt like giving up, felt like crying.

While all the negative thoughts are running through my mind like a never-ending train, suddenly I remember :

Romans 8: 35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:

“ For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”[a]

37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As long as this stands, I will never concede defeat.

All glory to God!

2010-01-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

2010 will be great!

I'm believing in 2o1o:

1. Family salvation -

God had done great work during the first few visits my parents had made to the church but I pray God will do a greater work this time so that both my parents and my brother can experience the blessings of God.

2. Healing -

So that I can have lesser headaches and dizzyness. God can heal my anemia too. So I don't have to spend money on medications and consultations anymore. I believe!

3. Financial stability -

I pray hard that I can be more stable in my finances. Thank God i still manage to keep some of my tuitions. I pray I can contribute to home more, able to bless people, savings after all the offerings are tithings are done. Pray I can have more than enough even during the Arise and Build!

Top 3 priorities in 2o1o! The rest, I leave it to God. I want 2010 to be another year that I can stand strong and testified of His goodness and faithfulness! He always is!

Psalm 2:12
Blessed are those who put their trust in Him.

2009-12-06T07:28:00.000-08:00

God of my youth

When I was first saved, I was 15 years old turning 16. In the year 2005, the service before Christmas marked my first significant date with God. I remembered, I was shy but I was very touched by the presence of God and the Word shared and I raised my hand to receive salvation. That first step of mine I took was the step that I have never ever regretted. The member seated beside me gave me a hug, I still remembered and my tears stained her blouse.

From that day onwards till today, it has been almost 4 years already. Time flies. I've grown up, I'm now 19 turning 20 and I've changed. I'm not shy anymore, in fact I'm pretty much noisy and hyper. But one thing that has never changed: God's love for me.

Even up till today, every show-up by God and every experience with Him, I still remember in my heart clearly. This blog has also helped me to remember every special moment and word that He has spoken to me. To my own amazement, I just realized, this blog is 2 years ago! Since December 2007! When I was still a JC 1 kid! I re-read the entries and still feel so touched. My heart is still full of gratitude. God is really wonderful and awesome, most of all, He is always always faithful!

Thank you God. God of my youth, God of my forever, God of my ALL.

2009-11-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

This is the blog where I feel I can most freely share my thoughts, my struggle, my pain and my experience. Every single reader in secret(honestly I have no idea who is reading or if there is any. haha) is very much appreciated and I pray that in a way or another my entry may encourage you if you are going through a similar situation as me and share the same joy we have in God!

Today I decided to blog because I can feel God's love very much more real each and every day. Really.

Few days back, I visited doctor for some skin problem and realized I have to spend a huge sum(in my opinion) for treatment which may in the end be redundant if there's no effect. I really felt very burdened for myself, for my health and for the money wise.

But GOD IS GREAT. And I believe He will protect me over this season and provide for me. If you believe together with you, I hope you can pray a simple prayer for me. God bless you my friend :]

And I watched this video which touched my heart very much. I hope it blesses you as well.

God protects, even little girl. I love God. HE IS AWESOME!

2009-10-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Love of God

Recently, pastors have been preaching about the love of God. Truly like what Pastor said, it's not the love for God that matters but it's about the love of God. I thought about it these days and each time I recall how He demonstrated His love, my tears cannot stop dropping.

Our love for Him cannot do much. Yes. Although God, having the very nature of Father, would love to see us loving Him, it's actually His love that overcomes everything.

Every wonderful thing is based on His unconditional love for us.

It's the love OF God that we're saved, eternally. He died on the cross for us because of His love for us, not ours for Him.

It's the love OF God that right now we can have freedom. Our chains are truly gone. We've been set free by our God, our Savior who rescued us.

It's the love OF God that we can be forgiven countless times by Him regardless of the number of times we disappoint Him.

To take it into more personal.

It's the love OF God that I found a pathway even though I didn't do well for my A'levels. When I thought I'm at the end of nowhere, He showed me that He had and still has a plan for me.

It's the love OF God that I was once struggling to love myself but now I don't. God loves me so much He died for me and I know I am definitely someone of worth, at least in His eyes.

It's the love OF God that saved me through every challenges, every failure and every setback. When I thought I'm all alone, He never fails to turn up just on time to save every teadrops.

It's all about His love for me. Unconditional love. Never has He or will He ever set rules and conditions for anyone to attain His love. It's all poured out and freely to receive.

I cannot imagine what would become of me if God has not love me the way He always does.

Thank You God!

2009-09-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

Yahweh

I saw this posted up in FB by Sheng Hong. An introduction of this awesome song! If you have not yet to watch this video, do click on it and start it playing.

I'm in awe of You, Yahweh.

2009-09-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

When the music fades

All is stripped away.

Today I really got reminded of God's love and His grace in my life. I cannot forget all those times in the past and even up till now, how He never fails to walk me through every journey.

Still remember, my first encounter was the time I gave my heart to God. When I felt lonely and my world was dark, God brought light to my life. That was Christmas. I still remembered. Everything changed. But it doesn't mean life turned easier. It meant that I wasn't alone anymore in my journey for the rest of my life. That was the very first touch of God upon my life.

Then soon it was O'levels. I tried so hard and studied very hard. That was the time when I really put in loads of efforts. I will never forget. How i get so tired easily and started to pray more. When God answered my prayers and strengthened me and He gave me good results which I was really happy with. That's the first time I experienced the miracles of prayers.

It didn't end there. A'levels were much worse off. Probably because I was really distracted and tired of studying so hard but still not fruitful. The process was tedious enough but the receiving results period was so tough. I didn't know it was such a devastasting moment for me. There were loads of comforts, lots of consolations and loads of encouragement. I appreciated but it didn't help. So I turned to God and God covered me with His huge big arms telling me "It's okay now. Everything's okay." He gave me the strength to stand up again and fight. That's the first time I experienced God's comfort and joy.

The journey didn't end here.

He sent so many people to bless me financially during my SOT when I had only $4.05 in my bank for the entire week. When he sent a friend to bless me, I couldn't stop crying all the nights in that whole week before I sleep. That was the first time I experienced God's outpour of love.

Call upon the name of the Lord and be saved.
He is worthy. Of. All. Praise.

2009-07-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

How long more?

Just how long more will I stay a pessimist?

All the negative thoughts that flood my mind every now and then, just how long more will I be able to drive them out?

All then impossibilities that are written in my heart, just how long more will I be able to believe?

All the circumstances and situations, just how long more will I be able to see the light to it?

How long more will people wrong me for my kind intentions?

How long more will I need to hold on to it?

How long more will I be able to hold my peace?

Just how long more?

"Just a little while more, My daughter. I am on your side."

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31

Just a little longer. And I am done.

2009-07-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i think about the circumstances I am in and feel unfair that I weren't be able to live a smooth-sailing life, not able to live everyday without a single worry at all.

But maybe in another angle, God wants me to be able to appreciate things even more. I think this is true. Maybe for me, I am someone who would take things for granted at many times. Maybe I have taken God and His provision for granted. But really, why does He have to do all these for me, when He doesn't have to, at all? But He did it out of love for me.

But God still wants us to appreciate as well or we would never understand His goodness or experienced it.

So God wants to tell me and tell you that:

Whatever is happening right now in your life, is because God wants you to be able to depend on Him more. Because He is the Almighty God but many times we take things as it is. We look at our successes and think that we totally owned it. But who is really behind these achievements and successes?

It is God.

Maybe you are like me right now. Feeling totally despair about the situation you are in. But don't worry, it is God's way of allowing His goodness to be manifested in our lives. It is His way of wanting more of us, our attention, like a jealous Father.

Remember God is in control. Not you.

All Glory Be To God!

2009-07-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

It is the last 6 weeks to the end of SOT.

What Pastor Meng shared today touches my heart alot.

He said that with faith, there is rest. This period of time in SOT is to stress us out and push us to depend on God and force us to rest in God.

It was like a word of rhema.

Last night before I slept, i asked God "Can you please take this away from me? I cannot take it anymore. I'm very tired."

But this morning God used Pastor Meng to encourage me and to strengthen me. It is a time of training for me so that I can be stronger just like how an iron is to be put through fire.

The apostles in the new testament went through trials and testings and most of all, they went through horrible sufferings and it was really unimaginable to think of how they actually died. But they died for Christ.

I do not know how long this is going to last. My physical body is telling me that she cannot take it anymore and mentally I have had enough. But spiritually I want to continue to fight on. I want to fight for Christ. And even if I have to suffer or die, I do it all for Christ.

All glory be to God!

2009-06-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

I know You love me.

2009-02-01T21:52:00.001-08:00

With Jesus in my vessel, i will still smile at the storm. :)

2009-01-16T23:47:00.000-08:00

God, why do things always caught me unprepared, unawared and i have no slightest idea about it. But God. Only You know and only You can help me solve it. I hand it over to You, God.

2009-01-12T07:01:00.001-08:00

NEW YEAR RESOULTION

Dear Lord,

For this year, i'm believing in achieving greater things than last year. Here is what i pledged myself to achieve in 2009.

Spiritually - 1. To be able to commit at least 30 mins to bible reading daily.
2. To be able to discipline myself for my constant an hour prayer.
3. To be able to be more faithful in serving God
4. To be able to fast at least once in a week.

Family - 1. To be able to be closer to my family, have more dinners tgt, spend more time.
2. To have lesser disagreements and quarrels in the family
3. Seeing my parents coming to attend church regularly

Financially - 1. To be able to pay off SOT fees + mission trips + materials by myself
2. To be able to have at least 2 tuition assignments
3. To be able to pay for my own purchases, transports as much as i can w/o getting
the money from parents.
4. To be able to bless my friends and family

Cell Group - 1. To be able to see multiplication in 2 months time from now
2. To be able to be a good example and blessing to the existing members
3. To be able to bring the vision Dorothea has for the cell group to every member
and to work towards it to achieve together
4. To have a cell group that loves and cares for one another
5. A cell group of not just members but disciples

Studies - 1. To be able to have decent grades for A'levels
2. To enter a local university

Individual - 1. To be able to be more positive-minded
2. To expand my love tank
3. To be more sensitive to the needs of the people
4. To be a blessing for everyone and anyone

God, this is a long list of things i want to achieve but more than just myself, i need Your strength, i need Your power and all in all, i need You and Your guidance.

I know i can be really stubborn at times but God, i pray that You will mould me to who you want me to be. Just so, i can be a better Christian, a better friend, a better daughter and a better person.

Thank You Lord!

2008-12-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

My heart, Your home

My Heart, Your Home - Watermark

Sometime ago, Joe sent this song to me but i was listening it together with another background music and i didn't really take notice of it.

But today while i was on my way to work and feeling all gloomy and tired. This song played in my mp3. I was wondering, "What is this song? How come it's in my mp3?"

Then i recalled this song that Joe sent.

Listen to it, it's really nice.

When you're going through a rather low period, that's when God manifest Himself even more real and true to you.

When you are going through sweet happy times, we often forget about God. Because everything seems so smooth-sailing that we become very full of ourselves and we thought "Hey, i'm doing this great by myself. I think i'm rather capable ya."

But when we seem to be alone, in the darkness and deprived of joy and things seem to be going in the opposite direction of where we want them to head towards, that's when we start to realize that we are all imperfect and weak beings but strengthened by God's perfect strength.

Perhaps that's the time when we yearn for God more than before and to rely and lean on His strength totally.

Perhaps that's the time we cry out to God and asked Him for a solution and a way out of the tunnel and to the light.

Although time and time again we let God down, He has never abandoned us nor forsaked us. God is too amazing. When i thought i don't deserve anything, He gave the best that i could ever ask for. He forgives me all the time, when i become too self-centred and egoistic and too full of myself.

The fact is. I am not anywhere close to perfection like how God is. But yet He's so willing and so forgiving. A normal human being would definitely get angry, frustrated and gave up on me. But my God places all His hopes on me and though i dashed them all and i messed it up, He always renew His hopes He placed in me. All the time.

God, i pray, make my heart Your home. I know i will never have to feel all alone and fearful again because You reside in my heart.

This is my desire, Lord. That my heart will be the home for You to stay and for You to be the greatest architect of my heart. Build and mould me the way You want me to be.

Most of all. I'm also thankful that God fulfill my 18th birthday wish this year. Granted since a long time ago but everytime i thank of it, i can't help but am so overwhelmed by Your Goodness and Your grace. Lord, thank YOU!

2008-11-25T11:10:00.000-08:00

The God I know

The God I Know (Acoustic) - Alison Yap & CHC Band

There's no other someone who will ever love me unconditionally like He did.
There's no other someone who will strengthen me when i'm feeble and weak.
There's no other someone who will hold my hands and tells me that everything's gonna be fine.
There's no other someone who will show me great plans that excite me.
There's no other someone who will ever whisper love into my ears.
There's no other someone who will fight the fight for me and deliver me to the promised land.
There's no other someone who will be there to hear my cry during the lonely night.
There's no other someone like Jesus.
There's no other someone like Abba Father.
There's no other someone like Holy Spirit.

He is the God that i know.

"Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Heb 13:85

What can i say?

Thank You!

2008-11-05T06:37:00.000-08:00

In the midst of battling

Dear God,

Tomorrow's my 5th paper but i'm already drained out, physically, emotionally and mentally. God, I need the wisdom. I need the strength. Most importantly, i need the breakthrough. But whatever it is, whatever the outcome may be, God i still trust in You. Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.

2008-10-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

God, i need Your strength to carry on. It just keeps getting tiring and tiring. I need to remove
the insecurities that are in me.

Selah.

Lord i know Your strength will sustain me through all the days of my life. In You, i can accomplish more than i can imagine and I am MORE THAN a conqueror.

Selah.

Yesterday Pastor talked about how we need to "selah" at certain points of our lives. Selah means to take a break and reflect. To trust God and to renew strength once again. Although each day seems to be more challenging, i just want to trust God and hold on to the promises.

Take away every fear, every anxiety and every contrite spirit.

I know who i am in God.

I know i am secured in Him.

I know i am His.

2008-09-10T23:45:00.001-07:00

The real battle is almost here

Another 50 odd more days and A's is here. Although i'm worried and rather fearful, I know God will see me through. Yes, although Prelims results don't seem any bit at all positive, i still praise God for everything! For the peace He gave me when i stepped into the examination hall and the comfort He gave me when i received back my results. Importantly, the love He assured me every single moment of my life.

Even when the mountains tremble
And a thousand falls
I will stand with You
My Jesus, take my all

Although Thousand Collapse - City Harvest Church

2008-08-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Powerhouse

Yesterday i had some time to spare and i was nearby riverwalk, so i decided to spend some quality time with God at Powerhouse.

The whole room was empty except one sister who was using laptop. Perhaps it was afternoon and everyone was either in school or working. Anyway, i found myself a corner and settled down and just began to pray. Many things were running through my mind and initially i couldn't concentrate, though it was all quiet and serene except for the soothing music playing at the background. I decided to read the bible instead and i suddenly felt i need to complete reading the book of Habakkuk first. One verse in there touched my heart and when i read it again, it still did. Habakkuk 2:3 I stopped there and started praying again but this time i felt i should continue reading it. And so i did, until this verse. It kinda struck me.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

"Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the
labor of the olive may fail , And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may
be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls. Yet I will rejoice
in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."

It moved me and i began to weep. It quite speaks of my current situation. Tired and weary and feel like giving up. Because all your efforts have been poured out but yet yields no returns.
It seems so hard to be keep on keeping on. And this verse speaks of so many failures mentioned. But the next verse teaches us to "rejoice in the Lord" no matter what. Paul reminded us,
"Rejoice! Again i say, rejoice!"

Deep down i know. I need to rejoice in the Lord like how i used to. In the midst of every
difficulties and every failures, be thankful and be joyful because God's everlasting love has never failed us. His promises will never be broken. Most of all, His grace is sufficient for us.

I love it when God reminds me through such verses and i love it even more, when i can use it to encourage someone else. Thank You Lord for all You've done!

2008-08-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Create in me, a new heart

This song during P&W few hours in cgm reminded me when i was 16 years old. God reminded me alot of things. This song is so familiar but yet so distant to me. I remembered when i was secondary 4, i would wake up at 4am and start to revise for my O'levels. As i began to revise, i would play the Cross Album, sing along and study. "Heart after You" was one of the looped songs that i did play, over and over and over again and yet never tired of it. Those were the days, so pure, so genuine and everyday feeling refreshed, feeling happy and excited to go to school.

But as time passed, one would grow up. But how sad it is that growing up adds pressures to your life. You start to take up more responsibilities and every moment you are worrying. Even when you began to sit down and revise, you'd hurry and rush through. Going school has never been anything close to exciting and you dread it as much as you dread going to dentist. But why?

God asked me "But why? Why are you losing this child-like faith? Why are you depending on yourself? Why are you worrying about everything? Why did you stop feeling joyful and excited? Did you forget My goodness? Did you forget that My joy IS your STRENGTH?"

Couldn't help but began to tear.

Who says God doesn't know all the mess you are in and all the horrible nightmares you go through. In fact, He knows it more than you do. He knows mine too well. And I know He wants me to change. Willie said "God loves you. Yes He loves you too much to let you remain the way you are."

God wants me to change. Revert back to the joyful days. To those days when i know that God is my pillar of strength and in Him, i can trust.

I want to change. I'm sorry for what i've done. God, i know this is my many many many times apologizing and yet You willingly pick me up again after every fall. I want to be more and more like You. I want a heart, that is, after You.

A heart after You - City harvest church

God, You are greater than the circumstances in my life.
Your promises matter more than any problems that i'm facing.
Your strength is greater than my own abilities.
Your love overwhelms me.
You are, thus I am.

2008-08-14T05:37:00.000-07:00

Lord, come and strengthen me

Many times, i complain, i whine and i make noises. Simply because i'm tired. I'm drained. But Lord, how can i ever run out of strength and energy if You are the supplier? Not unless You are unwilling to supply but i know You are more than willing to do so. So Lord, once again, i come to You and i ask You to come. Replenish my lost strength, strengthen those weak limbs and protect my heart and my mind. Let only Your promises be embedded in my heart. Let those negative thoughts be gone and away from me. Let none of them ever succeed in attacking me. For Lord, "No weapons formed against me shall ever prosper."

Lord, i pray and i ask. Let me never lift my eyes off You. Let Your peace surrounds me, forever. Let Your love fills my heart once again. Let Your word be the lamp to the path i set my foot on always.

And Lord, let me never give up this race of faith. I am enduring, for what set before me, is the reward.
Emmanuel - Hillsongs

2008-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

This blog...

is not revealed publicly to my friends though it's placed at a link in my other blog. But whoever finds their way here, i know it's not by chance, it's God's plan. I hope everyone who happens to be here will enjoy the entries that i have had and get encouraged and lifted up if you are having a hard time.

Whenever i'm discouraged, i come back here. Once again, i'm here. Today i'm here because i've run of my own strength. And i'm asking God, to come and strengthen me and allow me to lean totally on Him. I know God is smiling and patting my head saying that He has been waiting for me to do so. Which i am really thankful for. Such a wonderful God, my best friend, comforter and my Saviour.

How amazing it is, that i've come so far. Two years and counting of being saved into His kingdom. Although many times people fail me, God didn't. How awesome God is! Thank You LORD! Thank You!!!

God, i want to surrender all i have to You, surrender my life and everything that You have given me, everything that You have not. Even burdens and worries, i give them to You and i know You will turn them into joy and peace back to me. I'm grateful for You. Thank You, once again.

I have no regrets coming so far and having so much to overcome. If it's for You and because of You, everything is worth it. Come what may, Lord i'll hold on to Your hand and Yours to mine.

I love You, Lord.

I surrender all - True Worshippers Youth

2008-06-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Still - Hillsong

Although discouragements come by, God still assures me. If He is with me, who can be against me? I just want to thank God for His faithfulness, His words, His promises, His presence and His love that overflows.

Lord, i will come to the secret place and i will be of good cheer. No matter how tough the path seems, how awful their words seem, i put my trust in You, and You alone. Thank You Lord.

2008-06-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

CODE RED CAMP

This is a superb camp that my zone (City Harvest CK zone) had during this june holidays and all the youths from various schools are invited to come and experience God in a new and unique way.

Indeed God is awesome! This short camp has changed my perspectives towards cirumstances in life. God is faithful and He truly is. The first night was so great. The session was extended to 3 hours and all of us stayed mingled in the presence of God till 1.30am. God assured me that He is still with me and though many negative thoughts and unhappy moments came back to me, God has assured me that His strength is my joy. I can always run to Him, always.

My experience with God didn't end here. Lord brought me to a verse Psalms 34:10 during morning devotion in day two. Psalms 34: 10 "The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good things." This is God's promise to me and everyone. If you are reading and indeed waiting and praying for a breakthrough, God is telling you that your breakthrough will come because He will not let you be in lack. And indeed God is awesome.

Have also heard of testimonies of new friends, very very new, just joined us for the camp and got touched and saved into the kingdom. PRAISE GOD! I believe many more souls will be added. Continue praying and God is touching many many more.

Although the success of the camp also owes to the leaders and the organising committee, God is the very reason why we got impacted and touched. God is the reason why i'm here for, so are you. :)

2008-05-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

If you are feeling depressed ...

Remember that God knows what you are going through and all the emotions that you have. Every tear that you shed, He sees and every hurt that you went through, He pains.

When you are depressed, run to God and not away from Him. Run into His embrace and let His love fills you up again. Let His peace comfort you and let Him come into your life to make you whole again.

All of us know this but how many times do we actually do it?

If you are indeed feeling horrible at this moment, cry out to God and He will definitely be there to listen to you.

"I cried out to God with my voice-To God with my voice: And He gave ear to me"
Psalms 77:1

2008-05-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

God is awesome!

He always is! Hallelujah! Thank you Father, Thank you Jesus and Thank you Holy Spirit!

God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Amen!

Psalms 56:3-4

"Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?"

I am not going to be afraid of whatever is coming. Come what may, I will stand strong and firm and with God, nothing will shake me. I will guard my heart and my mind strong.

Psalms 125:1

"Those who trust in the LORD Are with Mount Zion, Which cannot be moved, but abides forever."

I will trust in the Lord always. Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness, for Your unconditional love and always always there to hear me cry and pour out my burdens. When i am in destress, You are with me. Lord, I will always walk with You.

Praise God for everything.

2008-05-03T05:48:00.001-07:00

"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart. And saves such as have a contrite spirit."

2008-05-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

How Sweet Your name

Thank Your Lord for ...

Lifting off my burdens from me
Loving me unconditionally
Protecting me from all evils
Being my very closest friend and counsellor
Blessing me with things that i don't deserve
Giving me the best that i can ever imagine
Always staying by my side
Listening to my prayers and my cries
Wiping off every tears on my cheeks
Healing me(in advance i give thanks)
Rejoicing with me in all victory

What else can i say?

Lord, You know me the best. In these few weeks, i had been so so so depressed but You never fail to encourage me and love me and continue to uphold me. Your strength has pulled me through every single trials. All my cries you have heard and You pained whenever I go through sufferings. I love You and i always do.

You deserve all praises and glory. Hallelujah.

2008-03-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since i last blogged an entry here.

Decided to do so today because i can't really get to sleep. It's currently 5:11am, spent my time from 11.30pm -4.45am studying but i can't concentrate anymore.

And i'm really starting to feel drained out. You know i wish i was back to a little kid in this big world. Cause it's getting hard to believe that i've so much to handle, and they are getting beyond my ability to do so. When i thought i was strong enough, this time it proved otherwise. After so much times, i finally can't take it anymore.

But God was there all along. I knew i wasn't alone. But i just needed that assurrance. Cause it can be so scary to be alone, all by yourself. It really is, scary.

2008-02-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

Overnight prayer meeting

Yesterday was my very first time going for an overnight prayer meeting in jurong west! It was a very fantastic experience and i really could feel my carnal flesh dying but the spirit man getting more and more alive!

Rushed down from parkway parade in the middle of celebrating a classmates' birthday to JW. Took the train from east to west and i thought i couldn't go through the whole pm but i was wrong! Reached and joined in the rest of the internal traffic ushers to help with the flow before ivory brought a few of us to prepare the overflow room. Still managed to pray with my cgm who was ushering too. When we started confessing and praying, the fatigue begins to fade away and we become more alert instead. It was so amazing that i could stay through because i have never been able to do that before.

Indeed, praying overnight is the best. Like what Pastor Kong had said, everything starts to slow down unlike the day times when we are busy with so many things. We can really prepare our hearts just for praying and praying through no night with almost zero disturbance. We can also really enjoy the presence of God and hear what He has to say to us. Really a great time to pray. Although it can be tiring, especially those who rushed down after work or school, still it's worth while. Deny your carnal flesh and stretch yourself to the maximum!

5.00am sharp we ended our overnight pm. Although i was tired, i wanted it to continue. I wasn't as sleepy as i thought i would. 5.25am i got onto the bus and i was very excited and i kept telling my cg members that "I have stayed awake for one full day since yesterday! Praise God!" Reached home and i really fell alseep and so i woke up at 2.45pm to eat my brunch. (Lunch + breakfast) Now i'm waiting to watch online service, service is starting already, see you huys! :)

2008-01-28T06:11:00.000-08:00

New challenges

God, thank you for continously giving me opportunies to learn and to serve more. Moving on from expo to Jurong west has indeed been a great leap in my ministry. Changes are the only constant and i'm taking them as postively as i can. Now that I've changed team again and learning to take up a new team myself, with guide of my sl, i really pray that I will be able to do it well, with Your grace and Your wisdom. Lord, indeed give me the confidence and assurance that I can do it and that i will learn as much as i can and really help to lead this new team. I'm looking forward to what other more things that You have indeed planned for me. Thank You once again for giving me so many chances.

Also Lord, studies have always been something that is burdening me. It's getting a little bit tiring day after day. And i keep falling ill, losing concentration and getting frustrated easily when i cannot understand certain topics or concepts. I know it's the devil at work again whenever i have negative thoughts. Although this year is going to be tough, going to be very busy, still I trust in You. If i do my best, Lord You will do the rest that i can't do. Father, i indeed pray You strength my physical body and keep illness away from me. Keep the uncertainies of the future away from me but Lord, I will trust in You and You alone.

Whatever has happened or going to happen, still I rejoice and always give my utmost praise to you, the one and only Almighty God, my dearest Heavenlyt Father!

2008-01-23T05:31:00.000-08:00

You never let go of me

Lord, a schoolmate of mine is in a very bad state now. Although i barely even know him, i feel the pain as they announced his current condition now. His family and friends must be very devastated. Lord, I lift up this schoolmate of mine, Kenrick, into Your mighty hands and I pray that You begin to heal him. With man alone, it is impossible. But God, with You, all things are possible. This boy is still young but he is going through alot of pain. Jesus, let Your blood wash away every sickness in his body and make him strong again. Right now, he is declared brain dead. But God, if You can revive the dead, making Kenrick healthy again is possible for You. Lord, let peace come upon the family and friends of his as they grieved over the pain of losing this boy, since he is already a vegetable. Let Your love pour onto them and comfort them when they are feeling lost and helpless. Father God, I thank You in advance for what You are able to do. Hallelujah! In Jesus' name i pray. Amen!

Pray for this schoolmate of mine if you happened to stumble over to this page. This schoolmate of mine might not be someone i personally know but still, it's a heart-wrenching news and i believe praying works miracles. He is currently depending on life support to pump air into his lungs to breathe. It's heartbreaking to know of the current situation he is now. Take sometime and pray for Kenrick together with me.

2008-01-19T03:41:00.000-08:00

Unique me and you

Have you once wish you were somebody else? That head-turner girl in your school who is smart, sporty, chic and fashionable? Or that someone who is rich and can afford branded stuffs?

It took me sometime to realise i am always envious of that somebody too. I always thought i know who i am and i don't wish to be someone else whom i can't be. Somehow it's hard to shake off that thought or wish that "I hope i could be half as rich as her. I wish i could be as slim and pretty as her. I wish i could do as well in Maths as she could."

What is lacking in you is not at all the beauty, the wealth or the talent. But self-esteem.

Some of us thought we are confident people but when we see strong competitors, we bow our heads and start having negative thinkings. I believe all of us ever experienced that horrible feeling of defeat, which actually is not at all a defeat.

All of us are unique, very unique in fact. Which explains why you can never find someone who has the exact same thumbprints as you. Yes, someone can resemble you, someone can be as friendly, as talented or as smart as you are but not one single person can be totally be the same as you.

Sometimes you wish you could be as good-looking as someone else but always remember, there is something so unique in you that, that somebody will never ever gonna have it. This is the ebst part. I do know i am not as smart as the scholar in my school, not as pretty as the school belle nor as talented as any dancers or singers out there. Yet i know who i am, in God. God loves each and everyone of us so so so much that He could send Jesus to die for you. Just look how fortunate all of us are. Ask your neigbhour or your bestest friend if he/she could die just for what you have done wrong, I bet they did think you need counselling.

This is just how important we are to God. How unique we are. Whenever you have those thoughts of envy again, look into the mirror and say "________(inset ur name), you look great!" It might sound like self-deceive but not, it isn't. It's to build up self-esteem and self-confidence. Dr Choo Yogi mentioned in his book "Girls, if you think you are beautiful, you are!" So you are indeed good-looking. You always are, even if no one agrees, God agrees, totally.

2008-01-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

"And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying "Lord, if You
are willing, You can make me clean."

Then Jesus put His hand and touched him, saying "I am willing; be
cleansed." Immediately his leprosy was cleansed."

Matt 7:2-3

2008-01-14T20:08:00.000-08:00

Lord, I'm crying out for more and more of You

Whenever i pray for backsliding friends, i always feel the pain that God feels seeing His beloved kids drawing away and away from Him. Just like a child growing up and became distant and distant from his own very father. God feels the pain everytime His precious child decides to go on his own.

"Return, you backsliding children. And i will heal your backsliding."
Jeremiah 3:22a

For the past few weeks, i've been feeling so dry, so dry. I still attend service, cell group meeting and serve every week in usher. But i'm losing the fire. I'm losing the vision and i'm losing my direction. It's been hard and i feel guilty all the time because i'm not giving God the first priority in my life. And my health condition struck me badly and i keep losing the faith that I should have. I kept wondering "I just don't see the breakthrough. I'm tired. I've tried."

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you will receive them, and you will have them."
Mark 11:24

"If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."
John 14:14

Thank You Lord. What wonderful promises You give to us. Ask in Your name and only Yours.

My usher group leader said this during the zone ic meeting.

"When you ask God for something and He didn't reply you nor do you see it
happening, don't think it's a no. But keep asking and asking. Come before the
Lord and cry out to Him. Matt 7:11 says "If you then, being evil, know how to
give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in
heaven, give good things to those who ask Him!"

God is bigger than any of our problems and our situations. God can create you and I, what other things can God not do? He's waiting for us to ask Him. He's waiting and waiting. Even if He doesn't give to you what you ask of Him, it's definitely because He has planned something better for us. For His thoughts and ways are higher than ours.

Today God, I come to You and I give all I have to You. I may be someone small in others' eyes, someone that's not as useful but in Your eyes, I'm worth more than anything because You created me and i'm your child. Give me the confidence, give me the strength to continue walking on this path. With You, all things are possible. It may be hard but I'm willing to do it. I'm willing to pray more, read Your Word more often and serve You more. I'm willing to lay down my life for You. All that I have is little but I hand them over to you and I know it'll return to me in a bigger form. Thank You for all the promises You have made. And Thank You in advance for all that You are going to do. Amen

Love this. Thank you Yq for sending me the song:

2008-01-12T04:22:00.000-08:00

He is wonderful

He always is beautiful and wonderful. He's the only God, the only Lord and the only bestest friend you can ever have. When you are unhappy, there He is, willing to share your woes and sorrows. When you are happy, there He is, waiting for you to rejoice together. When you are tired, there He is, ever ready to uphold you, to renew your strength and life you up. What a wonderful God!

Yongqiang showed me this song in youtube. We sang during service last week.

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,God of all Majesty,
Risen king,Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star

All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You

How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus
I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you

What a nice and beautiful song. Take some time and hear this song. There are times when we come to God with tonnes of things to ask for. No doubt God would love to answer our prayers requests but above all, the most important thing is the blesser Himself. This song sings about God's wonderful-ness and His beauty. Enough of all the blessings, now let's remember our God for all He has done and even if He has yet to answer your prayers, know that He has something better in store for you! :)

God bless you!

2008-01-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

DEAR GOD,

As days go back, it seems harder and tougher and more tedious to continue to walk on. Lord, it hasn't been easy and I know, right from the start it has never been easy. With You, the path should be easier. Lord, I need the very simple answer and an assurance. It always seems like life is playing is big joke on me.

REJOICE. AGAIN I SAY, REJOICE!

So what went wrong with me? I just can't figure out, yet time and time again, it happens without any reason.

Father, can you give me a big big hug?

2008-01-02T03:24:00.000-08:00

Today is the start of something new; a much tougher and unpredictable life in school. Yet right in front of me is the ever ugliest goliath that i ever has to conquer. If David could triumph with a weapon so small and with the help of God, what other things can i not do? Do not worry for tomorrow, for tomorrow has its own things to worry for. Do not wish to be fearful for the future but it seems like it's a tiring path to continue. If you are reading this, could you take a minute and pray for a simple prayer for me? God bless you, my fellow friends.

2007-12-27T04:20:00.000-08:00

Renewing of strength

Sometimes people grow weary, worn out, tired, exhausted and felt that the path is never-ending long. The people around is slowly fading away, time seems to be ticking away and energy seems to be losing bit by bit. What can only be held on to is the strength from God. When God says, "I'm with you, you are not alone." It is true. Today I heard Him saying this to me. And I know, all along I'm not alone because if that's the case, i would have fallen long time ago. Who would be able to sustain me till now except God? Who is able to uphold me with His right hand? Who is able to go before me against my enemies? Who is able to be my fortress, my strength in the very times of trouble? Who is able to lead me to green pasture? Who is able to provide me bread that can sustain me through days after days? Who is able to love Angelin more than anybody?

It is You, My Lord, My God.

Without You, I can't imagine where I'll be or if i can last a day. God strengthen me once again, for this very day, i shall be restored. No weapons formed against me shall prosper.

2007-12-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lord, there is a huge amount of wrath building up in me. But I know that Lord, the wrath is Yours ,for this man has time and time again put on a mask behind his true colours of a pharasee. I will not judge but Lord, Your judge.

2007-12-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

No matter what situation and circumstances that I am in, I will call upon the Lord. For only You know the desires of my heart, the weariness that i have grown. Nevertheless, You are worthy to be praised! And I will rejoice. "Rejoice, again I say to you, rejoice!"

2007-12-19T09:42:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 54:2-3

Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out of
the curtains of you dwellings;
Do not spare;
Lengthen your cords,

For you shall expand to the right
and to the left,
And your descendents will inherit the nations,
And make the desolate cities inhabited

As Christmas draws near, truly no one should be robbed of the priviledge to celebrate Christmas and to know the true purpose of it. John 3:16 is indeed a wonderful verse that really demonstrates the radical love of God. Wonderful God in heaven, I just pray that you begin to give me a vision not just for the church itself but as of a cell group, of the harvest that we will receive. For Lord You say that "The harvest is plentiful", use us to be Your labourers as we offer ourselves. Let the lost be welcomed home, the home to dwell in Your heavenly place, a place of love, your unconditional love. Thank You Lord.

2007-12-17T07:11:00.000-08:00

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried
into the midst of the sea

Lord, You are my rest. Even when i grow weary and tired and i come to You, You shall restore me. When I fall, you will be there to uphold me. I pray Lord, give me strength to continue walking. No matter how tired i may be, let me not give up but as i continue to persevere on, i shall find strength. You shall be my guidance and lead me. Your Word is a lamp to my foot. Thank You Lord.

2007-12-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

2 Chronicles 20:15

"And he said, "Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem,
and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the LORD to you: 'Do not be afraid
nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's.'

And Lord i pray to You, that you began to protect over my mum. Indeed the battle is Yours and we can rest assure that You'll protect and hide us under Your wings. You'll let not a single weapon formed against us prospers. You'll not let a single arrow that flies by day and terror that comes by night to harm us. You're our fortress. You're our salvation. You're our very refuge and help in times of trouble. You're my Lord. Forever more. Thank You Lord!

2007-12-03T08:00:00.001-08:00

Psalms 37:7

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass."

Building fund has started since one month ago. There are still times when i see non-believers becoming wealthier and wealthier and I got envious. But today, as i read this verse from the Bible, i know i will prosper, i will wait for God. Even if i don't prosper, God has a better plan for me and i still love Him; the blesser not the blessing. Thank You Lord!